Austin Tovar
16, Completing Junior Year Online
High school is a time often marked by transformation, hardship, and reflection. During our conversation, Austin talks at length about how these themes have become particularly resonant for him as he completes his Junior year online.
Born in 2004, Austin’s perspective on the world is distinctly Gen Z. In a post 9/11 world, Austin makes the argument that a heightened sense of anxiety is all he’s ever known.
We talked at length about the uniquely intimate role of technology in his life, how music has helped him through the pandemic, and what it’s like to navigate the daily stresses of school from his childhood bedroom.
Photographed and Interviewed by Alexandra Cali
October 3, 2020
Getting To Know Austin
Alexandra Cali: What grade are you in?
Austin Tovar: I'm a Junior at Westhill High School.
AC: How would you describe your high school experience so far?
AT: I really love it. I've been able to meet so many cool people, and so far I like what I'm studying. Westhill also has a ton of after school clubs, so for someone like me who enjoys being very involved, it's perfect!
AC: How much time would you say you dedicate to your extracurricular activities?
AT: So during a more traditional school year, I'm at Westhill pretty much from 7AM until at least 9:30PM. That's mostly because of band or play rehearsals, student government commitments, or club meetings.
AC: What compels you to stay so busy?
AT: I love meeting new people, making friends, and of course it looks good for college resumes. I love having the freedom to pursue my interests and connect with people who are just as passionate about things like music or theatre. Growing up, it was kind of hard for me to meet other kids that were interested in similar hobbies. I think that's why I always had friends who were so much older than me. Now I'm at a school with over 2,000 students, so it's a lot easier to find people you click with.
AC: Don't you ever get tired?
AT: There was a time last year where I was spending more time at school than I was at home. I remember feeling really content because I constantly had something to do or somewhere to be. There were moments when I got exhausted, but I always manage to pull through when something I'm passionate about is motivating me. I kinda hope that I'll stay this way once I go to college.
AC: School these days must be such a stark difference from what it once was!
AT: Oh, totally. I can't tell you how much I miss all the classes, club meetings, and rehearsals that kept me running on a crazy schedule. It feels like forever ago now.
Transitioning to Online Learning
AC: What does online school look like for someone in high school?
AT: If I'm being honest, it's kind of a mess. Stamford gave kids the option to either do online school, hybrid learning, or in-person instruction. It feels really disorganized because they are offering so many modes of teaching. I'm doing online instruction because I really don't know how long in-person learning will even last.
AC: Do you have classes with any of your friends?
AT: Yeah, some of us were able to sign up for the same online courses. We've made group chats so we can study together or help each other out if things get confusing. It's a nice feeling, knowing I'm going through this with a group of people. It's just weird because I never see them.
AC: That's such an interesting point. Do you feel like there is a real sense of connection in the online classroom environment?
AT: Not really. I login, listen to the teacher talk, submit assignments, log out. I haven't made a ton of new friends because there's no way to casually talk to people on Google Classroom.
AC: Do you feel like the quality of your education has suffered at all as result of this transition?
AT: I think so, which is probably sad to say. My friends and I teach ourselves so much of the curriculum. Like for example, I'm supposed to be taking Calculus this year. For whatever reason, it didn't show up on my schedule. So in September, my guidance counselor told me that I should start teaching myself the material, because it may take awhile to switch me into the class. A month went by, and he totally forgot to do it because things have been so crazy with the pandemic. So I was learning Calc all on my own. Now I'm finally in the class, and I'm actually further ahead than them in the curriculum. It'd wild.
"I feel like so much of this school year is going to be about self-motivation. It doesn't even feel like high school anymore. I'm doing a lot of stuff on my own, and sometimes I wonder if anyone working in the school cares."
Self-Expression In Digital Spaces
AC: How do you manage to stay socially engaged with all your friends now that social distancing orders are being heavily enforced?
AT: That part has been really easy for me, and I'm not surprised. If I miss my friends, we'll all FaceTime or text. That's how we spent a lot of time connecting even before the pandemic. I haven't seen some people for months, and yet it doesn't feel as weird as I thought it would.
AC: Would you say your generation was the best suited to handle this sudden change to being heavily reliant on technology?
AT: Yes! I mean, I love my phone. It's always been the main way I get my news, talk to my friends, and just generally stay entertained. I really can't remember a time before computers and even the early versions of social media, so having to figure out stuff like Zoom has been really easy. My parents, on the other hand, are not as crazy about it. It's not even like they're super technologically challenged, they just don't use it the way we do. They don't love it the way we love it, you know?
AC: Definitely! Do you feel like social media has shaped any part of your identity?
AT: It's cool to think about what a big role stuff like Tik Tok or Instagram plays in the lives of me and my friends. Like, so many of our inside jokes come from things we see on Tik Tok. If I reference certain sayings around my parents, they have no idea what I'm talking about. Meanwhile, anyone who's considered Gen Z would totally get it. It's literally shaping our sense of humor. I also feel like a lot of people my age are super politically engaged, because we can go on Twitter and learn about practically anything going on in our country or the world. And I personally think that's a great thing.
AC: What's one thing you've been able to do using social media that you feel was really impactful?
AT: This summer, I came out as bi on Instagram. My family and really close friends all knew what was up, but I just felt ready for everyone to know. I wrote a long caption and then just didn't look at my phone for awhile. A lot of people left really nice comments, so that was cool.
"It felt good to post about it without having to worry about seeing people in person. By the time we are back doing in-person classes, I don't think anyone will really remember or care. There's bigger stuff going on in the world right now."
The Importance of Performing
AC: We've talked a lot about how much technology means to you as a young person. But I understand that your interest in music is also a really big part of who you are. What do you love about it?
AT: Well, my whole family is really into. I grew up with a dad who plays guitar, showed me really great artists, and just encouraged me to pursue the interest. And I found out that playing music comes pretty easy to me. I started on the piano, and I got good at a young age. Like I said earlier, I'm someone who loves to push myself and stay busy. So overtime, I picked up other instruments like the trumpet, and now I'm getting into the guitar.
AC: You talked about the opportunity you had to meet new people in high school. Are a lot of your close friends musicians?
AT: Yeah, I know a ton of people through band or the musicals. I really like being part of ensembles because you get so close with everyone. Not only do you get to bond over the music and the shows you put your hearts into, but you get to know everyone on a deeper level because you spend so much time rehearsing together. Sometimes my band friends will come over, and we'll just sit on the trampoline in my backyard and talk about life. I wouldn't have those bonds if it weren't for music or theatre.
AC: You strike me as someone who is very outgoing. Do you feel like theatre became a way for you to channel that upbeat energy?
AT: I never thought about it that way, but probably. I'll admit, it can be fun to be in the limelight sometimes. I don't mean that in an annoying or selfish way though. I think it's just cool to be able to perform for people and walk them through a whole range of emotions, and then you get that positive feedback from an audience who connected with what you were doing.
Final Thoughts
AC: How do you feel people your age have responded to the news of the pandemic?
AT: Everyone I know who's my age really gets it. We clown on the people who don't wear masks, because it's like, how can you be so selfish? Does it suck having to do online school? Yeah. But things won't get better until everyone starts taking it seriously. It's annoying when people pretend like the rules don't apply to them.
AC: I know that every high school student gets bombarded with questions about the future. Is it hard to think about what life will look like in a year for you, considering the state of the world?
AT: I've managed to stay pretty positive about the whole thing. I know life will eventually get better. It will just take time. I really hope we get to have a normal senior year. But I know it's not worth getting super stressed about because it's so far off.
AC: I know college is on your mind. What do you see yourself pursuing?
AT: My dream would be to end up at a school like UCLA. I'd love to study acting there. I definitely want to go far and get out of the East Coast bubble. And there's nothing wrong with where I grew up. I feel like sometimes people will hear that and ask, "what exactly are you trying to get away from?" I don't have an answer to that. I just know I want something new. I'd love to be in a huge city, surrounded by creative people.
AC: I have a sneaking feeling that that's going to happen for you, Austin. I think you have the drive and talent to do it.
AT: I really hope so. I feel like a lot of people my age are starting to realize that we can do something more creative in our careers. Pursuing something unconventional is exciting to me, and I'm glad more people seem to feel that way.
